About this blog -Sarcastic Fringehead

I’m real and I’m not afraid to open my mouth.

The Illustrated Encyclopaedia of Ugly Animals 
Sami Bayly

One day I was browsing the bookshop looking for a sciency book for my 4 year old who always wants to know “WHY”. I knew I had struck gold when I found “The Illustrated Encyclopaedia of Ugly Animals”. These are MY PEOPLE! I thought as I flipped through the pages laughing into my COVID mask, hardly able to believe these animals could be real. And there it was, on page 107, my spirit animal…the Sarcastic Fringehead. This darling fish is “a small but very hardy saltwater fish that has a large mouth and aggressive territorial behavior”.

Farwell sloth my former spirit animal…I have found my true being.

I’m an adult survivor of child abuse. I have been called many things that are not pleasant or true but I am indeed sarcastic and I do often sport a fringe. I’ve been in therapy with this latest psychologist for over 10 years. I’ve been diagnosed and misdiagnosed, medicated and hospitalised. My current diagnosis is C-PTSD with a dissociative disorder and BPD vulnerabilities. The last 2 years have been the most brutal as I work through the memories of my childhood abuse.

But here I am, alive against better judgement, tumbling into forgotten rooms and hidden dungeons within my head. My psychologist says “you should really write a book”. I say LOL, download the WordPress app and give you this blog instead, a record of my messy unravelling.

And maybe when therapy is all done, if it is ever done…I might eventually, finally, bravely speak the unspeakable to the truly ugliest collection of animals ever created – my family.

Image of sarcastic fringeheads by Isaac Cates from http://satisfactorycomics.blogspot.com/2011/08/animal-alphabet-s-is-for-sarcastic.html?m=1

References

Sarcastic Fringehead. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sarcastic_fringehead

Published by sarcasticfringehead

I'm an adult survivor of child abuse who documents therapy; a yellow brick road to hell.

14 thoughts on “About this blog -Sarcastic Fringehead

  1. I love this so much. What a wonderful way to capture how you feel and getting it off your chest via blog immediately, rather than the “usual” way of sitting on a therapy couch listening to someone ask you “and how does that make you feel”? It makes me feel like I want to get knife and stab you in the eyes. But this is your story and you control it. I’m sorry you went through child abuse and please know this, if you were near me now, I’d give you a COVID hug. Keep telling your story and sing it to the world sista. I know your words will inspire others to speak out with you.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. It’s what I said to a male counsellor at a mental health unit I went to very early on who told me only veterans could have PTSD, not victims of child sexual abuse then went on to ask how the abuse made me feel. I responded by telling him I wanted to stab him in the eyes, left and went and sat outside while I cried, then I called my friend who comforted me.

        Liked by 1 person

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