We All Fall Down

When things don’t go as planned.

Today is Wednesday so I went to work. I’m a Business Administrator for an Architectural Firm in a snooty part of the city. What this means is I did a Finance Degree so I could type up letters and reports written by someone else. I actually love this job though because there’s only 5 people in the company, everyone works quietly and my boss is extremely reasonable. Plus the toilets are good for a laugh. Look at this.

Sign in the toilets in my office building.

Despite a relatively breezy day, I was not in a good mood. I had nothing good for lunch due in part because last night’s sausage rolls didn’t happen. I was trying to make them in my new food processor while son, 4 yelled at me to hurry up. (He has a sensory processing disorder so the noise bothers him). So I thought I would hurry things up by jabbing a wooden spoon into the mixer. Are you shocked to hear that was a bad idea? Wooden spoon splinters all through the mix.

Image by David Shrigley https://www.instagram.com/p/CHKRcU9h5UC/?igshid=hdgitqf2ickb

I was also not in a good mood because I was already anxious about my appointment with Psychologist J tomorrow and had been fielding off a bunch of anger related flashbacks all day. I’m pretty good at hiding my dissociation at work but today a tear snuck to my eye. In the midst of a wave of trauma related rage I decided to take my lunch break and sent Psychologist J an email that ended with me saying I hated him and Dr K. In hindsight this might NOT have been fair and definitely a touch DRAMATIC. Oops. I suppose I will have to apologise to him again. Though he did once say that the anger is better out than in.

And angry.
Image by Ambivalently Yours https://www.instagram.com/p/Bx6kKAthtz_/?igshid=1l96zo6feqttq

I think my son has inherited my dramatic side. On Monday I took him to his weekly group therapy and when the teachers asked him how he was he took a deep breath, sighed loudly, said “Tired!” and flopped to the floor arms and legs akimbo. It was so perfectly executed we all had to laugh.

My son going down a slide drawn with architectural precision. Artwork by my son.

This afternoon when we came home from childcare, I noticed a car parked outside our house. “Oh I wonder whose car that is?” I said to which he replied, “I don’t want that car there, I might have to have a cry about it.” Then he burst into tears wailing “I only like Mitsubishi Hiluxes!” The thing is I know exactly how he feels; at the end of a long day, the smallest thing can topple me over.

Speaking of toppling, isn’t it about time today’s children made up a Covid playground chant? I remember being thrilled to learn that Ring Around The Rosey might have been about the Black Plague. Can’t someone make up a fun ditty about this plague? Goodness knows we could all use the laugh.

Title page of The Dreadful Visitation: in a short account of the progress and effects of the plague by Daniel Defoe. Prints and Photographs Division. //hdl.loc.gov/loc.pnp/cph.3b4140

Ever since I’ve been working at the architectural firm I’ve been unwittingly educated on aspects of structural integrity. So when YouTube recommended this video to me “How Victorian Staircases Proved So Dangerous. Hidden Killers” I knew I had to watch it immediately. Surely you understand my glee. STAIRS…that KILL…yes please! It was all about how the servants’ staircases were made cheap and steep and this caused many falls. My favourite bit of the video was this old news clipping.

How Victorian Staircases Proved So Dangerous. Hidden Killers. Absolute History. https://youtu.be/L1vqQi5Tl70

And then this comment from the comments section.

I have actually fallen down a long staircase and I can confirm it isn’t fun and yet between that and these emotional tumbles that result in a jumble of emotions emailed to my psychologist, I might just prefer the stairs.

Comment below if you’ve done something dumber than me this week or if you have a Covid ditty.

Published by sarcasticfringehead

I'm an adult survivor of child abuse who documents therapy; a yellow brick road to hell.

6 thoughts on “We All Fall Down

  1. A silly story. On Sunday night, after dinner, the kids went outside to “do some cleaning up”. This involves one sweeping the pavers and the other hosing down after him to settle the dust. When they were finished, they left two brooms lying on the driveway. I said to my husband “If there was one more broom on our driveway it would be a Mazda ad… broom, broom, broom.” My husband muttered “broom broom broom” quietly to himself and in that moment I realized that the real words were “zoom zoom zoom”. I admitted to my error and then couldn’t help cracking up as my husband wandered into the laundry still muttering “broom broom broom”. He started laughing too at that point and said “I like that one. That was good.”

    Liked by 2 people

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